Are you a man above 40 or a lady above 30 and you are still single? Calm down and get over the anxiety of marriage. Marriage is an institution every youth wants to seek admission into and age is a major factor that mounts pressure which may lead to mistakes and regrets. Most of my friends, especially those younger than I am are already married and I’m not getting any younger.
Different strokes for different folks; many single youths give different reasons why they are still single. Reasons such as…
‘I don’t have enough money’
‘I have not found my better half’
‘Most men are just after sex’
‘Most ladies are just after money’
‘I don’t want to marry outside my tribe’ etc.
Meanwhile, what worked for Peter may not work for John. We should be very careful with the choices we make. Seek God first before you make that choice or take such a decision.
In seeking God, I do not mean you should go to the church fellowship or mosque regularly with the intention of finding your better half. There are so many bad people disguised in religious houses. There have been instances where a man with a questionable character decides to attend a religious fellowship in search of a good lady. While a lady with a questionable character decides to attend same religious fellowship in search of a good man. The two pretenders eventually met in the church and got married afterwards. You can imagine the scenario of such a marriage.
Mr. & Mrs. Kingsley Umezuruike
I am very proud of my university classmates who are married, especially my male friends. None of them could boast of a fat bank account before they got married. They virtually had nothing to financially sustain their relationship. Kingsley Umezuruike’s six years relationship was worth the wait. His four years in UNN was very tempting because his girlfriend (Blessing) was far away in another school. Kingsley is one of the few men I know that never gave in to such temptation even as he was surrounded by many good pretty ladies. He is the kind of man that most ladies wished for.
Ezugwu Azubuike smartly started dating a junior student in the same department when we were in second year and they later got married. His wife (Lauretta) is so humble and respectful. I’m sure she’s still submissive to my friend. It is just so amazing the way my male friends transformed their humble relationship into a blissful marriage.
Mr. & Mrs. Azubuike Ezugwu
Some youths have lost their life-partners due to carelessness, lack of money, greed and other misplaced priorities. When time begins to run-out and age mounts pressure, some of them become baby-mothers or baby-fathers to someone who they don’t love. The harsh economic situation have made most ladies to marry for economic reasons. Marriage is not a jackpot or lottery. True love have been abused and it is rare to find. It is for this reason that I appreciate the wives of my friends for standing by and believing in them. These men were young graduates when they got married and are enjoying their marriage with a lovely daughter each. I’m glad my classmates got married to their friends and are enjoying it even without private jets or mansions.
Happiness, fulfilment and completeness are of the essence. That kind of happiness Shola Alegbeleye is enjoying with his wife and daughter. Though I got a glimpse of that happiness when I witnessed their wedding at Ibadan from Lagos in the company of Lawrence Enyoghasu (Ibadan boy). Shola was marvelled at our presence because he was not expecting us and we never put a telephone call through to notify our coming. He posted the invite on Facebook earlier and Lawrence told me he knows the wedding venue and reception. (Lawrence was our course mate at UNN and he had lived in Ibadan for decades.) Shola’s wedding was a memorable experience and I wish them longer happiness in their marriage.
Mr. & Mrs. Olushola Alegbeleye
It makes more sense to marry your friend because it would make your home very interesting. It is also possible to marry a wealthy man who is not your friend and still live happily. It could be risky but I can mention some of my female friends including those I wished to marry who are enjoying bliss and wealth in their marriages. None of them could marry me because I could not meet their standard. No wahala shá, there is God!
Let’s put that aside because I’m sure of a better prospect. You know some ladies can be impatient because menopause keeps threatening. Let’s talk SSG. He used to be our Class Rep. at the University. He was very articulate and always wore a serious face with his funny British accent. Samuel Ugwuoke a.k.a. SSG got married to a friend and partner. I don’t know how well they loved each other and its absurd to be nosy about that. All I observed was that they were business partners before they got married. SSG visited Lagos severally from Abuja and would tell me “My woman and I have come to buy some clothes for her boutique in Abuja.” He couldn’t provide any answer whenever I asked why his girlfriend could not come on her own. Well, I call him Onyishi (the head) because he is principled and I know him very well. He wouldn’t have done that for any woman if it is not out of love. I was not surprised when they eventually got married. SSG is not wealthy, yet he lives happily and very comfortably with his wife in Abuja.
Mr. & Mrs. Samuel Ugwuoke
It is very important to consider happiness before you say ‘I do’. Beauty or handsomeness cannot sustain your marriage. Money can sustain it to an extent, but true friendship will sustain it for as long as you live. Is it not wise you marry your friend? Cyril Okorie would not have gotten married to Maryann if they were not friends. We call him Pastor CY because of his ardent evangelism. Prayer and faith works for him. Cyril believes so much in God even though he applies little working effort. He did some incredible things that later marvelled some of my classmates. Most of my classmates read cover to cover and some went for night classes just some days to exams. Pastor CY did not panic. Most times I saw him reading the Bible instead of History textbooks or handouts. We were amazed how he graduated with wonderful results without carry-overs. I’m very sure his marriage was by faith and divine manifestation.
Mr. and Mrs. Cyril Ugochukwu
Is it not interesting that all my mates are getting married and I can’t even boast of having a girlfriend? Na wao! I’m not campaigning, neither am I worried because I know God’s time is the best.
Every lady wants to be married to a wealthy man and that’s the priority. If this is the trend, then most men will be left with the option of getting the money first before venturing into a relationship instead of first finding love. By this trend, making money is the top priority of most men because they feel money can buy love, thereby getting married to a lady who he’s attracted to notwithstanding if the lady only got attracted to him by the wealth he had acquired.
For the fact that the world is competitive does not mean you should see marriage as a competition. Don’t panic if you are above 35 and you’re still single. Do not be impatient. Commit it to God in prayer. He has done it for so many people and you cannot be exempted. He is the giver of husband and also the giver of wife. Put your trust in Him and see how everything would turn around for your good.
Originally posted 2015-10-26 13:23:49.